So, I am a senior in high school and I will be attending my first prom next month. My school recently had a prom dress code meeting where they discussed what type of dresses were allowed and what weren’t. I personally had already gotten both of my dresses (I am going to two proms) and I was ready to get one of them altered until I went to the meeting. I found out that one of my dresses isn’t appropriate for prom. And the reasoning is that I need to have pride for myself. It sounds like if I wear a dress that shows too much skin, it means that I don’t have respect for myself.
I went dress shopping three times. The second time I went, I was overwhelmed and almost had a panic attack so we left empty handed. I decided to go online and look at dresses. I got the dress from an online boutique whom I would completely recommend!! It was from Boutique 1861. Anyways, I ordered a black dress and I fell in love with it. My family and friends loved it. I actually felt comfortable in it and that’s really important to me because I don’t exactly love my body or anything. Therefore, I was so happy with the dress. It also meant my mom didn’t have to spend a fortune on a dress I’d wear one time which was nice.
I go to the meeting and they have a slideshow to present what is acceptable and what is not. A dress that is very similar to mine popped up on the screen and my friend and I looked at each other in shock. I was so upset. I had no idea what I was going to do because I couldn’t return the black dress because I ordered it too long ago so I was screwed. I found another dress online and ordered it so all is well, I guess.
My point to this blog isn’t to sound like a brat or anything. I totally understand the need for a dress code because I know some people would take it too far. I believe that the wording for the presentation could have been altered to not make it sound like we don’t respect ourselves for showing skin or cleavage. Plus, I don’t even have cleavage so why does it matter?? You are adults so why are you looking?! I just want to be comfortable in a dress so I am happy all night and then I come to find out the one dress I loved isn’t acceptable to wear because a little bit of my legs or chest would be showing.
People are so quick to say, “you need to love your body” or “respect yourself and cover up” but they need to respect us by not sexualizing us in everything we do. And how can we love our bodies when everything we wear, we get hated on or we get told that it’s too skimpy or that we don’t have pride for ourselves?
“Why have a dress code?” my school’s answer: “to have pride in oneself”
I found a perfect dress that I thought I actually looked pretty in and my school ruined it. So much for international women’s day yesterday, way to make us women feel like we’re worth something when you say we don’t have pride in ourselves.
Disclaimer:: I am not trying to bash my school, I just believe dress code in general is a little extreme but I understand their reasons for it. I just also believe they should’ve worded it a little different because it sounds like they don’t believe we respect ourselves.
“Modesty isn’t about a dress code. It’s an attitude of the heart”